Well, Actually
Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin’s Griffin for the digital review copy in advance. This one hit shelves on August 5th and I’m a little delinquent in reading and reviewing.
Boy, has this one had some buzz, at least in the circle of Bookstagrammers I follow online. I hadn’t run across any reviews under 5-stars when I started reading, but I don’t think I’ll be completely alone in having some mixed feelings on this one.
Eva wants to be a real journalist, but her current job involves interviewing c-list celebrities, desperate for attention, over room-temperature hot dogs. Rylie Cooper, a guy who ghosted her 6 years ago after a college hookup has a growing career and podcast dismantling toxic masculinity. In a drunken stupor one night, Eva posts a tell-all video about her experience with Cooper, one she thinks no one will see. She’s sick of him being the internet’s golden boy when she knows the truth. What follows is a partnership between their companies where he tries to make up for his past actions in 6 dates. All a publicity stunt, right?
Here’s what I loved:
🐈⬛ Rylie Cooper is a ten. A TEN, I TELL YOU. He’s in therapy (and even makes one of their dates couples therapy!) He overcommunicates. He’s kind, takes all Eva’s hits in stride, and is relentlessly patient with her.
🐈⬛ The teasing and banter was top-notch. Sometimes Eva was pretty mean, but Rylie ate it up, wanted more, and gave it right back (most of the time; when he couldn’t keep up, he just laughed it off).
Here’s my disconnect:
At first I thought maybe I didn’t like Eva’s personality. She’s sharp and cutting, but I could quickly see most of that was well-placed armor. There’s a softness inside that she’s holding back in self-protection. I loved that Eva was witty and quick, dressed to the nines, and was cautious in her first renewed interactions with Rylie.
Her inner-thoughts, which readers are privy to, reveals a character who is unsure of herself, feels a bit left behind in life, and wonders if she’ll ever be enough for someone. Much of this stems from her childhood but is strengthened by her awful encounter with Rylie in college.
Here’s the deal. I don’t consider myself a very confrontational person. But for the life of me, I cannot imagine sitting in a classroom for subsequent weeks after being ghosted and not marching right up to Rylie Cooper and demanding that he explain himself, even as a naive and damaged 21-year-old. I probably would have done this even as a 15 or 16-year-old. And this is coming from someone who is usually perceived as soft and sweet; perhaps I’m Eva’s opposite in that my sharp and cutting side is what is often hidden away. It was hard to put myself in Eva’s shoes and imagine being someone who would be able to shut away vulnerable, raging tears and hold back. She’s a complicated character, but not relating to her shouldn’t be what keeps me from a five-star rating, and it isn’t.
My main issue is that when Eva starts to open herself up, and she really does become more vulnerable, more open and honest, it all happens so fast. After 6 years of saying all this wasn’t a “big deal,” 6 years of denial, 6 years of feeling less-than but telling no one, suddenly Eva is brave with her boyfriend, best friends, and boss all in a few weeks? I had to suspend my disbelief a little too much.
Now, does this mean I didn’t like this book? Of course not. I still enjoyed it and would read more by this author. I still had laugh-out-loud moments, places I swooned, and quotes I adored. It just wasn’t the heavy-hitting sparkly thing I’d expected.
I still recommend it to anyone looking for black cat meets golden retriever, bi and pan representation, and superb give and take on the humor front.
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🌶️ This one has multiple descriptive scenes in it. If you’re a skimmer or skipper they’re in chapters 14, 15, 16, and 21. Note that these scenes occur in the middle of important plot content though, so they aren’t self-contained.
Interested in a luxurious, buttery hardcover of this book? Aardvark Book Club has this as a monthly selection. For US residents, the code SPLASH will get you your first book for $4. Then add this one on for $9.99.
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