Stay True
Note: When I rate a memoir, I don’t see it as judging another person’s life; rather, I base ratings on my connection to the material, the structure and writing style, and overall cohesiveness of the book itself.
In this memoir, Hua Hsu opens with stories as the child of Taiwanese immigrants in the Silicon Valley. He writes about his conception of “cool,” the way he interacted with his parents, and eventually his college years at Cal Berkeley.
An unlikely friend, whom at first he judges as being basic, is Ken, who seems just like everyone else. He likes the bands everyone likes (Dave Matthews). He dresses the way everyone dresses (Abercrombie). And although Ken’s parents are Japanese-American, Hua can feel the differences between families with longevity and history in America and not. Ken also grew up in San Diego. A big difference between southern California and northern California (I can attest!).
But as the two get to know one another, Hua sees that he and Ken have more in common than he thinks. As he writes, “maybe the thing that made me uneasy was realizing that we weren’t very different after all. He often prodded at the persona I had built for myself. Why did I insist on being so weird? What compelled me to always order the most unusual item on the menu? Wasn’t it all a ploy to be noticed by others?” I can relate. Being unusual was Hua’s currency in a world where he felt awkward, stilted, + outside. We also catch glimpses of 90s culture, music, + movies and delve into some of the Hua and Ken’s studies in philosophy throughout.
One summer the unthinkable happens, and from this point forward, the author shares his experience of writing down memories, working through feelings about a life-altering event, and his journey to find the true Hua rather than the facade he’s built.
Stay True was music to this Enneagram 4’s ears. I felt seen in the way Hsu described feeling unseen, known in the way he struggled to know himself.
A beautiful reflection on unlikely friendship, finding oneself, and navigating loss.
